Below is a list of things you can do to help you relax and get rid of your frustration:

• Listen to music. Turn it up loud if you have to so you cannot hear the crying.

• Take a warm bath. Shut the door, indulge in bubbles, play soft music.

• Watch your favorite television program.

• Exercise. This does not mean to go to a gym necessarily. You can turn on an exercise video or television program. Exercise hard. Every few minutes walk into your crying baby’s room and announce that you are sorry but you are in an exercise class right now and you will come back when it is over. Even better, is to ask your spouse or relative to stay with the baby while you walk around the block. In the evening this can be very therapeutic. Drop by an ice cream store or the grocery store and treat yourself to a treat.

• Take a nap. This can be hard when there is a baby crying but if you can ask a neighbor to come over for even 20 minutes, and you go to their house and have a 20 minute nap it can help. Most people are surprised how happy a good neighbor is to offer this relief to a mom or dad.

• Engage in a hobby, craft or activity that you find enjoyable. This seems like you should not be doing this with a baby crying but this can really work. Once you convince yourself that you are entitled to have some time for yourself, keep saying this over and over to yourself. Every so often go into you crying baby’s room and announce, “I am making a cute thing for your room right now so you will have to wait until I finish that."

 

"It is also important to recognize things in your life which may be causing you additional stress and can make dealing with a crying baby even more difficult. It is important that you recognize these things and learn to cope with them. The following is a list of activities and advice which can help you effectively manage your stress." 

Don’t Do More than is Possible in a Day- Practice time management skills. Decide what needs to be done and prioritize. If it doesn’t get don, don’t sweat the small stuff.

Put Things in their Place- Stress can develop in a cluttered environment. Take a few moments at the end of the day to pick up.

Volunteer- Service to others can quickly make you forget your own problems.

Laugh and Laugh Often- Enjoy a comedy, tell a joke or share good times with family and friends

Clarify your Values and Live by them- Identify your values, goals and priorities. Evaluate where you are now in relation to them, and develop a plan to move to values and goals that are important to you.

Seek Professional Help when Necessary- Sometime we need help to deal with stresses that are to overwhelming to handle alone. Remember, it is okay to ask for help.

Here are some of the practical and sometimes funny ideas parents have shared with us on how they got through the Period of PURPLE Crying:

• “I put my baby in the back seat of the car in her car seat and drive around with the radio on. She is crying most the time but once in awhile she actually does stop.”
  

• “I bought a calendar with big squares to write on each day. I put smiley faces on the good days and sad faces on the hard days. Then I realized my baby wasn’t good all day or hard all day, so I started putting three faces in each square to represent my day. When I counted up the faces at the end of the week I was surprised to realize that I actually had many more smiley faces than sad faces. Maybe, my baby really doesn’t cry all the time even if it seems like it some days.”
  

• “Sometimes at night when my baby would cry for hours at a time I would turn on the PURPLE Crying DVD and watch it…again. I had seen it several times, but it really helped to remind me that what I was going through was normal and would come to an end.”
  

• “When my baby began going through the Period of PURPLE Crying at about two weeks, I drew a picture of a crying baby on a calendar. Each day that passed I put an X on the calendar to remind me how much longer until this crying period was over. Just like the program said, my baby’s crying did eventually come to end around his four month birthday. It is so much easier to get through something if there is an end in sight.”
  

• “One night when my wife had been up with the baby for hours she brought her into me and announced, Here, she yours! I am going for a walk. I was glad that she did that because she really looked frazzled.”

Please Remember…
The most important part about all these stories is that all people, of all backgrounds, educational levels, financial status, race and culture go through these things with their baby. Even pediatricians have shared that they got frustrated with their own baby’s crying. The most important thing to remember when you get angry is take a deep breath, put your baby in a safe place and walk away. But never have a baby in your arms when you feel angry or resentful. It is OK. It will get better. 

Copyright  © 2009 National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome